Motherhood Monday: Inspiring Images Of Mom's Around the World

Motherhood is such a source of power and pride for me! I love images of women and their children, particularly breastfeeding mamma's...but really any image depicting motherhood in general sets my heart aflutter! Motherhood comes in so many different, wonderful, and unique forms, I thought I would share some beautiful images of motherhood from around the world with you all today:

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No matter if you have one, two, or many....motherhood is a beautiful thing

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Today is the Big Day!

I originally saw this image here but this is the actual artist

Well kittens today is the big day, I am heading off to the hospital to have my baby! I am all kinds of nervous and excited all jumbled into one....it's frankly amazing that a person can even feel so many emotions at the same time: grief that I wont birth vaginally, fear at being cut open, excitement at meeting my child, and gratitude that I live in a country that can help me deliver my baby safe and sound. It is an emotionally exhausting combination of feelings, and I feel that it will take me some time, patience, and lots of self love to get over my disappointment at not being able to birth naturally. So I am being gentle with myself today, practicing lots of self love, and thanking my body for doing such a good job of creating and nurturing this precious bundle of joy that I carry inside of me. The creative powers of nature are truly amazing! Being pregnant was an awe inspiring, life changing, cataclysmic event in my life. I am so glad I got to experience it, and will miss the bug and I's private little kick moments. But soon I get to kiss those tiny lil feet that have been tap dancing on my bladder for 37 weeks. Thank you so much for all of the love, advise, and support you have offered me over these past 8.5 months. I am deeply moved by the love you all have shown, and by the outpouring of help I received from the blogging community to help maintain my blog while I recover. THANK YOU

Wish us luck....Ryan and I are setting out on our biggest adventure yet!

Motherhood Monday: 37 Weeks

This is the last Motherhood Monday post I will write while pregnant....WILD! Tomorrow I go in for my scheduled (insert sad face here) c-section and although I am still devastated that I will not be able to birth naturally I am over the initial shock and am just excited to meet my child! Tomorrow morning the Bug will be out of my tummy and in my arms! All warm, snuggly and soft....I WILL BE A MOTHER! Wow. Still after 37 weeks this takes me by surprise, me! A mother? Really? You mean I get to take this fragile, tender, small little human being home with me???! But I imagine everyone feels like this with their first child, I know Ryan feels the same way I do. It's a good kind of shock, a good kind of wow. The kind of wow that makes life beautiful. And my life is set to become that much more beautiful by this time tomorrow! Once baby and I have had some time to relax and get to know each other I promise to post a quick update and a photo. Will the bug be a girl or a boy? Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! Tomorrow we will know!

As far as how I am physically feeling at 37 weeks I feel like I am a ten tonne sausage shoved into a teeny tiny sock. I AM JAMMED FULL OF BABY! This kid is still moving and squirming lots, making my ribs and mid back constantly ache. But that is ok, every movement the bug does makes the bleeding I have been having seem much less scary. It has slowed as of yesterday and I am very grateful. Sleeping has been difficult though, I get really scared at night that I am going to "bleed out" like the OB feared and that I wont make it to the hospital in time for me or the bug. Every tiny twinge, cramp, and ache I feel in my uterus sets panic in....not good for sleep, and not good for baby. So I try to relax and take deep breathes, but all in all it has been making for some really restless nights! Ryan is home now though, and that makes everything SO MUCH BETTER! Today is the last day of just "Ryan and I" its a pretty crazy thought! Tomorrow our entire lives are set to change!! I will keep you all posted and as always....peace, love and pickles my dears!

I have some FABULOUS guest bloggers lined up for you all while I am recovering from the birth, I hope you will all stop by and give them lots of love and comments! I am so very grateful for their help!!!!

Change in Birthing Plans...

So after 4 days of bleeding and yesterday passing a 1 inch clot my OB and Midwife decided to up the anty and have scheduled me for a c-section....ON FREAKING TUESDAY! Yikes! I am confined to bed rest until then and the hubz is flying home on Saturday. It is all happening so fast my head wont stop spinning! Turns out 1/2 litre of blood is pumped to the placenta every minute, so with placenta previa bleeding is taken very seriously! No shit! I knew the risk of a bleed out was there but 1/2 a litre every minute! That's a lot of freaking blood! So I am taking the Doctors orders very seriously and am tucked away into my room with lots of tea, books, my laptop, movies and a journal. The kitty kats are taking good care of their momma giving me lots of love and I am SO grateful I live with family! Id be terrified if I was living on my own right now! Bag for the hospital is all packed, blood work is done, and now we just wait, rest, drink tea, and rest some more.

People keep telling me to just be excited because my bug will be here and in my arms all the sooner. Although yes that is true, it is also before the bug is due so I am concerned for their health and it is not the way I wanted it to happen! I feel like a part of me is in mourning, saying good by to a dream I don't get to fulfill. It is heartbreaking for me that I wont be able to birth naturally, but also amazing to know that the technology exists that can save me and the bugs life. It is a confusing place to be in and I don't think I am quite ready to blog about it much more then that.

For now I know that the excitement part will kick in once Daddy is home with me. Until then I am just going to process my emotions and watch a lot of really trashy mind numbing movies.

Peace, love, and pickles!



PS: Don't forget to click here to vote for my blog on Top Baby Blogs! No sign up needed, just a simple click to vote! Thank you so very much xoxoxo

36 Weeks: An Update

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First off I want to thank you all for the kind words left in the comments of my last two posts....many of them brought tears to my eyes. I want you all to know that i do read each and every single comment left on here. I may not always be able to reply to them all but I read them all! I am so grateful for you dear readers, YOU ARE AWESOME! Many of you asked me for an update on the bug and I after today's ultrasound results, but first....some news.

Last night was pretty scary for me. I woke up at 1:30 am with menstrual type cramping and spotting. There was no pattern to the cramping so I knew enough to not panic, but seeing blood will freak a prego out! It was a muddy color though, not bright red so I knew it was not a sign of possible hemorrhage and decided to relax on the couch in front of a movie. Eventually I was able to fall back asleep and called the midwife in the morning. Turns out this is fairly normal at this point in pregnancy and is a sign that my cervix is beginning to ripen and my body is practicing for the real thing. Yet this is still a little scary because at this point I don't know how low my placenta is and if it is safe to go into labor.

It is also scary because Ryan flies out for a 10 day business trip to New Orleans and Vegas....tomorrow morning. Really shitty timing to be experiencing all of this.

Fast forward a few hours to my scan. Most important the bug is happy and healthy with a good strong heart, but my placenta is still classified as "low-lying" the technician didn't give us an actual measurement but Ryan could see the screen better then me and he said the number looked to be 1.6 cm. Only 6mm of movement. I was devastated, exhausted from no sleep, and my cramping had returned. I just wanted to go home.

I fell into a deep sleep once I was back home and woke up still feeling disappointed but trying to remain positive and feeling less crampy. My midwife called me again to check in with me post-scan (midwives are AMAZING by the way!) and she told me a few things that have made me feel a bit better:

• first off yes that is still low but we have to wait to see the actual results once they get faxed to her office. In the meantime she is going to refer me to an OBGYN (with placenta previa you have to) but she has found one that is young, recently graduated and very progressive in her thinking
• this OBGYN is more likely to allow me to try a vaginal delivery if I can safely do so before just assuming the worst and slicing me open
• they will do another scan on me to see if the placenta has moved more next week
• the placenta only needs to be 2 cm away from my cervix before I am deemed safe to labor....so if I truly am at 1.6cm as Ryan thinks he saw then that is only 4 MORE MM! 

So all of the above made me feel better. Sadly should it be a case of my placenta still be low, but being allowed to attempt vaginal delivery I would have to go to a different hospital (a more progressive one) and would no longer be under the care of my midwives. But I guess we will just have to cross that bridge when we get to it. For now, we wait. UGH. I hate waiting. My next appointment with the midwives is Wednesday and they will have the ultrasound results by then and hopefully I will have a referral booked with the OBGYN. I am also going to ask for another scan to be performed I refuse to give up hope! The scan today was done abdominaly rather then vaginally and that is far less accurate. In fact the scan previous to this one was an internal scan, so to me it seems ludicrous to be comparing to very different types of scans especially when one is proven to be far more accurate. That is not a controlled study!!!! The science nerd in me is coming out in full force.

Again thank you so much for all of the support! Big hugs and baby kicks to all of you

Peace, love, and pickles!

Motherhood Monday: 36 Weeks

Today is a big day! I am 36 weeks and go for the next ultrasound scan to see if my placenta has moved enough to allow me to birth naturally. I have blogged about this here and here but basically my placenta is "low lying" and too close to my cervix. This is common and 90% of the time it moves out of the way by 30(ish) weeks....but mine didn't. So I go again for another scan to see if it has moved to at least 2 cm away, if not then it is a planned cesarean for me and my bug. SO WISH US LUCK! Say a prayer, light a candle, send love vibes, whatever you believe in! The bug and I are praying that we will be allowed to work as the natural birthing team we are! FINGERS CROSSED! I will let you know how it goes....

Today is also a big day because it is Monday, and I am an NOT at work! That is right kittens this mamma is on maternity leave and LOVING IT! I got up this morning and asked myself "Kami, what do you want to do today?" and it felt so good! I am planning on using these next 4 weeks to nest, sleep, go for lots of walks, craft and read lots of books. I am also currently painting a picture for above the bugs crib, Ill post a sneak peak picture for you all soon but to give you a hint....it involves FOXES :)

Yesterday was also Mothers Day of course, not usually a good day for me as I blogged about here, but it was AWESOME! Everyone kept telling me it was my "first mothers day" and although I felt silly at first I really did enjoy myself. As the hubz said I have been "mothering" the bug for 36 weeks now and so "of course" I can celebrate mothers day. He made the day so special and surprised me with flowers and a D-LISH mothers day brunch! The whole day was great and it was full of:

 Decaf mocha coconut frappucinos....YUM!

Fun adventures thrifting in Value Village...the shirt in the belly shot above was scored today!

We found tonnes of great stuff for the bug including a set of wood blocks and these CUTE shoes!

I also did lots of crafting....some new items coming to the Etsy shop this week!!!! I am so happy to have time to craft again! I am so tired lately that a full Mon-Fri 9-5 work week was pooping me out leaving little time for crafts....but until the bug is born I have nothing but time! HOORAY! And I can nap whenever I want, double HOORAY! hahaha!!!!

So off I go now to the scan....here is hoping the bug gave me a mothers day gift and kicked my placenta out of the way! xoxox

Peace, love and pickles!

Click to vote for this blog on Top Baby Blogs xoxo

Mothers Day: A Bittersweet Holiday for Me

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I've never blogged about this before and even as I am typing this I am wondering if I should publish it or not? If may be too personal for some of you...but then again this blog documents my life, all aspects of it. So maybe, just maybe I will keep this post up. We will see. For now just typing this out I feel is good for me. See, I don't have a positive relationship with my mother. To be perfectly honest I don't have a relationship  with her period. I have not spoken to her in 4 years. Prior to that it had been an on again off again relationship since I was 15 years old...mostly on the off side.

I ran away from home when I was 15 years old and checked myself into a group home for homeless kids. Even though I was young I knew enough to know my mom wasn't normal, that she was sick. I fought long and hard to be taken seriously, social workers saw my good grades and behavior, that I didnt do drugs, had a steady boyfriend on the football team... and they thought I was just throwing a hissy fit. A spoiled child. My mother was very good acting and could have been a politician if she wanted to be. Social workers fell for her lines and many times I was nearly shoved back into an abusive home. But I fought. And I fought some more. Finally I found a youth worker who recognized and acknowledged the emotional/psychological abuse I had suffered and she started to fight for me. I was placed into a foster home and lived there until I was of age to move out on my own.

Turns out that naive little 15 year old me was smarter then most social workers. My mother was admitted to the psychiatric ward and it was finally acknowledged she wasn't fit to raise children (she didnt stay there long, but that is another story). That didn't feel like any sort of victory for me in any way. It only made it harder. Any hopes or dreams I had of one day having a "normal family" were shattered and my self esteem was along with it.

So without going into a long story....believe me I could write a book about all of the shit I got myself into...I grew up without a solid female role model and was pretty messed up for a long time because of it. For a young girl, growing up without a mother (or with a neglectful one) is really hard. Tragically hard to be honest.  So I think it goes without saying that I never liked mothers day. I avoided it like the bubonic plague, usually wound up really drunk at some bar pretending I didnt care when on the inside I was crying. Not fun. I don't recommend it. For years I vowed I would never have children. I was too afraid that I would hurt them the way I was hurt. Afraid I would have a daughter and disappoint her the way I was disappointed....but I dreamed.

Oh I dreamed alright, I just never told anyone my dreams. But I dreamt of having a little girl. Of hugs, cuddles, kisses, picnics, dress up games, running around in angel wings laughing in the sunshine. Making pancakes together for breakfast in the morning, sewing her cute dresses and brushing her hair. I dreamed all right. I never told anyone though, and I certainly didn't think the dream would ever come true. But I dreamed of having a girl and giving her all the love I never got.

And then one day I pee'd on a stick.

And my whole world changed in less then 2 minutes.

And so this brings us to today, 36 weeks pregnant and its mothers day...but this time it isn't about her. It isn't about the hurt she caused me. Or the hurt her mother caused her. It is about "MOTHERS". Mothers around the world, including me, just doing the best they can. It is about my unspoken dreams coming true, of the child I feel kicking and growing inside of me. Its about the love I already feel for this child. The fierce drive to protect and nourish a child I haven't even seen yet.

This mothers day is all about love, and the potential to create more love. And that is pretty freaking awesome

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mamma's out there....those with babes in arms, grown children living on their own, and those of you who are a mamma to a cuddly fuzzy friend too! My kitties love their mamma :)

Count Your Blessings

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As I eagerly count down the hours until I can get my next ultrasound scan to see if my placenta has moved and I will be able to birth vaginally I count my blessings. Although I am devastated at even the thought of having a planned cesarean the basic fact is that if my placenta is in the way, and I birth vaginally I could hemorrhage...and this is one of the leading causes of maternal death. I am LUCKY to live in a country that has the technology to detect such a problem before labor begins. That is able to offer me and my child options that will protect both of our lives. So many women do not have this option.And so, I count my blessings.

I am very inspired by Christy Turlington and the work she has done to raise awareness on maternal mortality rates with her documentary "No Woman No Cry". After the birth of her daughter she experienced a life threatening complication: post partum hemorrhage. She realized how lucky and blessed she was to have access to basic medical care, and dedicated herself to shinning a light on all the women in the world that do not. Every 90 seconds a woman dies from pregnancy complications...this is nothing short of tragic. The film is not yet available here in Canada, but it is in the states and I would encourage you all to watch it!!!  I will be the minute it airs here!

For now here is the trailer and an interview with Christy Turlington:

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Photos from my Maternity Shoot

Today is a photo heavy post, but I really wanted to share some of my favorite images from my Maternity photo shoot. There were so many beautiful images!!! I was very lucky in that the photographer was a very dear friend of mine, which made the whole experience so much more relaxed and natural. I am so happy that I will have these images to look back on, and one day show to my bug.

 

 

ONLY 5 WEEKS LEFT KITTENS! I am getting really excited and although I don't want to rush things, the bug isn't fully cooked yet, I am getting eager to meet my child....to hold them, play with them, kiss them, and smell that awesome new baby smell! My baby shower was on Saturday (promise to do a post on that soon) and all the cute gifts set me right into prime nesting mode! I cant stop puttering and folding and planning....I CANT WAIT!

PS: You have until May 18th to vote for me to be on the Circle of Moms Top 25 Pregnancy blogs, if you havent done so already please click here to vote! Thank you for your support kittens xoxoxo

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A Quick Post...

I am so excited, I have been looking forward to this special day all month! Any excuse to gather a bunch of ladies all in the same room is always a good time in my books. I love gatherings of women, I think it is so special and to be cherished! I promise to put someone in charge of my camera and take lots of pictures to share with you all. Today will be a busy day full of baby fun, so this is a short but sweet post. I would like to tell you all about something absolutely FAB though: I am up for the Top 25 Pregnancy Journals on Circle of moms!!!!!!!!!! I am super excited about this and would LOVE it if you would take a moment and vote for the Bug and I by clicking here. Voting is open until May 18th, thank you SO MUCH for your support.

PS: Don't forget to enter the Virtual Baby Pool and guess the Bug's weight, date, and sex for a chance to win 8 prizes!!!!

Peace, love, and pickles!
xoxo


 

Motherhood Monday: 34 Weeks

As some of you may have read in this post, I recently went for a second ultrasound to see if my placenta had moved enough to allow me to birth naturally. Unfortunately it still has to move more, it moved 1 cm but needs to be a minimum of 2 cm away before I can safely birth vaginally. The news was utterly DEVASTATING. I was sure that it had moved enough, positive. When the technician told me 1 cm I didn't believe her. I thought she didn't know what she was talking about, my midwife will tell me everything is ok.....well the midwife just confirmed that 1cm is not enough. The fear is that as my cervix dilates, it could rip off the edge of my placenta causing me to bleed out. Not good for me, or baby. So I have to go back for another scan at 36 weeks to see if it has moved more, if not then I am refereed to an OB and if it is then ultimately their call. If they feel it is too dangerous then I am scheduled for a planned cesarean. This is not a part of my birth plan!!!

See I plan to do a natural birth, with a midwife, in my local hospital. I am very lucky in that Lions Gate hospital is natural birth/midwife friendly. I am not naive and know that things can quickly change during labor, but I have no intention of using any form of unnecessary medical interventions: no epidural, no drugs, no elective Cesarean. No judgement AT ALL against those that choose to use things things, but it is simply not what I desire out of my birthing experience. I view birth as a right of passage, a war that women go through and come out the other side....victorious mothers with their proud babe in their arms. The one and only birth I have ever seen was a natural home birth, and it changed my life. For the better!

So right now it is all a waiting game. Will my placenta move? Will it not? It is so unbelievable frustrating to not be able to do a damn thing about this! I have no control what so ever, and as a fairly obsessive personality type....this is DRIVING ME INSANE! So please dear readers, send positive vibes my way and say a prayer to whatever you believe in that my placenta will move and move WAY OUT OF THE WAY!

As frustrating as it is, and as crushed as I will feel if my birth plan does not go according to plan I also realize I have to pause and give thanks. Thanks for living in a country that has a medical system that I do not have to pay for, for a midwife that cares and is doing all she can to help me, for the technology that can save my life and that of my child's....after all not all women are so lucky:



I have become a complete and utter BIRTH JUNKIE! I cant stop reading about birth, learning about birth, talking about birth....I am obsessed! Although lately I must admit I have taken a break from reading about birth and have been focusing on pregnancy in general and breastfeeding....because I get so sad at the thought of not going through the labor process. (You may think I am nuts, but the hormones released by a naturally progressing labor are so good for both mother and child!). But here I am, a self proclaimed birth junkie. All of my passion for womens rights, the years of womens studies I did in college and university has found a home, an outlet: EMPOWERED PREGNANCY, BIRTH, AND BREASTFEEDING!

In other news the ultrasound reveled that the Bug is developing at a gloriously healthy and steady rate! Growth is bang on with the wee one weighing at about 4.3 pounds so far as of last week. Oi vey, when I think of it that way I realize I have anywhere from 2-4 more pounds of baby (possibly more!) to fit in my belly....FOR CEREAL!?!?! I feel jammed full as it is! The bug is still moving lots, I actually laughed when the midwife asked if I was doing kick counts. I simply don't have to, this kid lets me know they are there! It is more rolling and twisting that I feel now as the bug is running out of room, but my whole tummy will lurch and twist as the bug rolls over to the point that you can see it from across the room. Its pretty amazing, and painful at times. Ive had a foot stuck in my ribcage on more then one occasion.

Sleep still sucks, and working is getting more difficult as my energy levels start to crash....pants are like a medieval torture device and my bladder screams at me after 30 minutes. I live for 5pm when I can head for home and put on comfy and baggy pants. My baby shower is this coming weekend and I am SUPER DUPER excited!!!!!!! I love any reason to gather a bunch of ladies together, such moments are so precious!

PS: if you havent already, don't forget to click below and vote for this blog on Top Baby Blogs! If you have done so already the Bug and I send big BIG hugs!

Peace, Love, and Pickles!

Sneak Peak from My Maternity Photo Shoot....

Hello kittens! I am too excited to wait until I have them all, I just had to share a sneak peak with you from today's photo shoot! I had so much fun, and think the images will be such a special keepsake for Ryan and I. I asked Lia to send me just one photo to share with you all and I gotta say if they all come out this great I am going to be OVER THE MOON happy! I cant wait to share the rest with you all as well

In other exciting news I am now listed on Top Baby Blogs, do me a favor and click the button below to cast a vote? I will love you forever and ever with chocolate sauce and sprinkles and strawberries on top! xoxoxoxo

Motherhood Monday: 33 Weeks

This is the very first Motherhood Monday post where I do not have a belly picture to share with you all, and it feels kinda weird. I am currently in a "I am as big as a house" phase. I feel huge, awkward, and really jammed full of baby...dear God and his kid is only going to get bigger in the next few weeks! I know that this feeling will pass, and I am trying to not pay much attention to it because I truly do love every minute of being pregnant. I love my curves, I love the baby kicks, and I love knowing that my body is capable of such a miracle. But, this weekend I couldn't get myself together to put any effort into any sort of an outfit as everything I put on felt so uncomfortable. The only time I felt comfy was buck naked in the bath tub, and well folks you don't need to see that ;)

Making the awkward moments worse is the fact that Saturday night it really hit me...I am going to be a MOTHER? Responsible for a human being? FOREVER?!? It will no longer be just Ryan and I, our lives will be forever changed (yes for the better) and that feeling left me overwhelmed, anxious, and short of breath...which when you are already 33 weeks pregnant and have a baby jammed up against your diaphragm sucks.

Ryan was an amazing trooper all weekend long. Every time I told him I felt "as big as a house" he said "but honey you are a big beautiful mansion with a wrap around porch, two rocking chairs and a view of an old cherry tree". I couldn't help but laugh! We also did some household prep which really helped with my mood. We baby proofed dangerous areas of the house, cleaned and organized, and even pulled his old playpen out of storage to use for our lil bug. It is so retro cute! This thing is 31 years old and I adore it:

I also hung this picture in the bugs room that Ryan brought back for me on his last business trip to NYC. It is a re-print of a famous Norman Rockwell painting but done on a piece of beaten tin, I love it!!!

We also had our ultrasound last week, and as some of you may now we were waiting to hear if my placenta had moved up and out of the way. Apparently at my first ultrasound it was "low lying", the edge touching the cervix which could potentially complicate a vaginal delivery if the placenta emerges before the baby. I was told if it didn't move by AT LEAST 1 cm that I would have to have a scheduled c-section. This was devastating news to me as I hope to birth as naturally as possible so I prayed and prayed and prayed for my placenta to move, telling it come on.....you only have to move 1 cm!! You can do this right? Well guess what? I prayed for 1 cm, I got 1 cm! No More no less, now we just have to wait until our midwife appointment on Wednesday to see if that was enough. FINGERS CROSSED!

Next week I promise a picture of the bug bump, an update on the midwifes diagnosis of the ultrasounds, and I will catch you up on the pre-natal classes we have started taking. For now if now click here you can see a picture of our bug and say hello.....look at that button nose eh? Gets that from the Fasan side, not the Newitt side that is for sure! LOL!


Peace, love and pickles

Ultrasound Picture!!! Say Hello to "The Bug!"

 

I didn't post one of these earlier because we didn't get a very good shot at our first ultrasound session. The other day I had to go back for a second one to do some measurements that they weren't able to do and to check on a couple things (I will blog about this more later). I didn't mind having to go back though  because I was hoping I would leave with a cute profile shot of my bug, and I did! It was sooooooo cool to see how big and developed my little one is now! The bug is growing along at a perfect rate and has the cutest profile I ever did see! Not that I am biased or anything...but I mean come on! Look at that nose! It's perfect. Gets that from Pappa!! Thank God the kid doesn't have my honker!

Oh my dear lil bug I love you so very much. You are rolling and squirming and wiggling away lately and I love every moment of it. I truly do love being pregnant and your momma is becoming quite the self-proclaimed "birth junkie" reading everything she can.

Only 7 more weeks to go my love....

Motherhood Monday: 32 Weeks

Oh hello fatigue. Nice to meet you. My name is Kami. Guess you are preparing me for when baby comes eh? Well thanks but its not like Im not aware of how much the rug rat will poop me out. What's that you say? Your not going anywhere? So I better get used to it? Geeeee, thanks.

Last night I went to bed at 6:45. Seriously. I was so tired I could NOT keep my eyes open. I woke up a few times but slept pretty well solid until my alarm went off at 6am. It was AWESOME. I didn't get a damn thing done that I had planned to do of course, but for a prego sleep comes first!

I had quite the full weekend though so I am not surprised that I was so pooped. Saturday I chased a two year old around for most of the day, but not just any two year...my KoKo-Ma-Lo! Koan is my best friends son and I was there to see him be born. It was a homebirth and my first experience of midwifes, natural birth, newborn babes THE WORKS! It was life changing I tell you. Needles to say I am fiercely bounded to that little man and love him as if he where my own child. I would do anything for him

 

Look at those eyes? How can anyone say no to those eyes? Melts my heart every time 

This is what happens when you leave a two year old alone with your camera for a couple minutes. You find some funny pictures later on....

Ryan is still out of town in New York and I miss him something fierce. I threw my back out while playing with Koan, but thankfully was able to ignore the pain until I got home later that night. Pure mind over matter will power because the minute I sat down my back seized on me and I could barely walk. I was in SO MUCH pain Saturday night and all I could think of was "Dear God! What if I was to go into early labour like this?!?! I am paralyzed!!!" After a painful sleep I woke up the next morning and swore that I would get back into pre-natal yoga for the last 8 weeks....I DO NOT want my back to be weak when I will need it the most! Man oh man did I ever miss Ryan that night though. At one point I was stuck sitting on the edge of the couch with my head in my hands, staring at the floor, unable to lift my head or move my body. So I just sat like that. For 30 minutes and listened to a full episode of Two and a Half Men. Pathetic. 

Ryans mommy and Aunty kept me busy the next day though! My back was feeling better and the three of us went out for some girly fun to a baby fair called "Bellies to Babies". It meant the WORLD to me to have them with me, and it was so fun looking at cute baby items and learning about new products and community services I wasn't aware of. I don't talk about it much on here but I don't talk to my own mother, haven't in nearly 6 years, so such moments are really treasured by me. After the fair we went out for lunch and talked girly stuff without the boys around. For me, that is HEAVEN! It was a perfect day and I am so glad to have shared it with two such awesome, loving ladies.

Motherhood Monday: 31 Weeks

Today I am 31 weeks pregnant. This week brings lots of fatigue, I am tired guys! Wow, like really tired, the smallest tasks can poop me out. Its getting really hard to concentrate and focus at work. My job requires A LOT of multi-tasking: booking appointments, answering the phone, handling walk-ins, scheduling the Doctors, maintaining, creating, and updating charts, ordering supplies, cleaning, writing the newsletter.....like I said a lot of multi-tasking. By the end of last week I was EXHAUSTED and praising the heavens that it was Friday! It doesn't help that I come home and work on my blog, facebook page, etsy shop, twitter, read all I can about natural labor, pregnancy and newborn care. As my dear friend Chelsea said, "where do you find all the time??" I honestly don't know myself, lol!

Aside from being tired I am still feeling pretty good. I have the typical heartburn and achy hips, but really I cant complain. My lil bug is so very good to me, thank you bug! Today Ryan and I got to get some "practice" baby time in. We met my friends 8 week old son Theo. It was so cool to hold a baby and feel my baby moving inside me! It just felt so deliciously natural, real, and wonderful. I looked down at the baby in my arms and thought to myself "I am ready for this. I am looking forward to meeting my bug and being a mom"

Theo has this really cute smirk he does that kinda makes me think of the Fonz from Happy Days

 

Watching Ryan pace the living room, rocking Theo as he got fussy made my heart swell with pride and love. I think when I see him do the same for our bub my heart will just BURST with joy!

Dear Bug, only 9 more weeks to go and I cant wait to meet you! I love you already. Fully, unconditionally, truly and madly. My heart if yours.

PS: If you want to see the sweetest thing EVER head over to this blog and watch as Violet announces the name of her bub to be. It was so sweet it made me cry!

PPS: Tomorrow I will introduced you to some of my lovely sponsors! There they are over on the left side bar, go check them out and say hello!

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Tuneless Tuesday :P

Yup you read right. Tuneless. I am literally to tired to think of a fun new song to post for you. I am officially that pregnant. Today I am feeling tired, cranky, achey, and have some bruises from how hard this kid is kicking. So no music today, instead here is a picture of my slowly shrinking feet: