Saturday, December 31, 2011

Identity Crisis....

Given that it is New Years Eve...and that in the past I would be dancing on a table top somewhere with a bottle of champagne in my hands, I am feeling a bit of an identity crises. We don't talk about it, us moms. We don't talk about how hard it is to go from one extreme to the other. For some of us it is easy. We were ready for a child, planning and trying and hoping and wishing. For the rest of us though we were busy partying and drinking and dancing the night away and then WHAMMY! Surprise!!!!! You are pregnant! I may have been married but I basically led the life of a single girl. I went out with my girls, we got dressed up, partied the night away, VIP line up at the clubs, my husband and I threw great house parties....and then one day without any warning it all changed. Changed for the better mind you! I love LOVE being a mom. But sometimes I feel this weird sense of limbo, as if I have one foot in each world. I couldn't even handle Christmas shopping downtown this year the hustle and bustle drove me MAD! Yet after weeks of being cooped up in sleepy North Vancouver, I tend to go a little bit crazy and get the urge to go out and shake my GROOVE THANG! Now that Claire is older, eating solids, and going to sleep on her own at nights this is a possibility....but after 7 months will I even remember how? The last time I tried going to a club since Claire was born, for a friends stagette, I just found myself looking at all these drunk young girls, getting hit on by douchy drunk older men, thinking ugh that is someones daughter. Le sigh, you know you are a mother when.

Fellow moms, how did you bridge the divide? 
Did you feel this same sense of limbo too? 


  1. When my children were little, I struggled with the same thing. It took over a year for me to decide it was ok for me to go out and have some fun. It was hard and at first I had to make myself get out there, but I'm glad I did. I think now I have a good balance of me time and family time. You'll figure it all out, but you'll probably never lose the creeped out feeling of seeing 40 year old guys hitting on girls who are 20!

  2. yep, I feel the same sense of comes and it goes and then it comes back...then it goes again. My birthday is coming up so it's here again. I don't think it helps that I'm in school...and in progress. I'd love to talk about this at stitch and bitch.

  3. I never really had that kind of freedom per say...I went from living in an extremely controlling (kinda terrible) life stuck with my mom to being a mom myself at the age of 17. The thing I noticed though was that after having Eden , my hubby and I could no longer jump in the car and go out to eat like we did all.the.time. when I was pregnant. Or the simple act of painting a piece of canvas or going on a trip to the country to do some photography is impossible.

    I guess my limbo is more trying to still be my creative and inspired self while devoting my life to this beautiful little girl. I know that I'm choosing less 'freedom' by homeschooling and having another baby and such but mamahood just rocks so much, you know? But yeah...still trying to figure out my identity and how that works into my mama life.

    Would you believe that I've not ever been away from Eden in the past two year except for a couple dates less than a mile from home? Yikes 0.o

  4. Thanks for posting this! I feel so awful for feeling in between and yadda yadda like yay, lovin mommy hood but feeling weird because I honestly have no sense of self right now. Anywho. I'm a new follower & I'm enjoying your blog :)

  5. Im so glad to know I am not alone in feeling this way! Thank you ladies