At the various mommy groups I go to I hear a lot of doubt, self-doubt that is. So many mommies out there wondering if they are good enough at being a mom, being a wife, being a woman, being a friend. Not that I don't have my moments to, but in general to be truly honest with you...I don't doubt. I just do. I do what feels right and feels best for me and my baby. A long as she is happy, coo'ing, kicking, and sleeping well at night I figure I am doing a bang up job! As far as my "wifely" duties, ahem, I don't stress about that too much either. I am blessed with a wonderfully supportive hubby, and have felt no pressure to get my sexy panties back on before I am ready to wear 'em. I hear so many new mom's saying their husbands are getting"antsy" that "they have needs" and sometimes they just "close their eyes and do it". Honestly, hearing that makes me SO SAD! These are the same moms who worry they aren't playing enough with their child, that they don't have them in enough classes, that they aren't busy enough. Honey child, there is only so much time in a day! And when 95% of that time is spent with a baby in your arms, on your breast, crying for your love and attention...well frankly it is hard to make time for much else, let alone "desire" someone else to be all up in your personal space. It can be a downright claustrophobic feeling! You need time for YOURSELF too, time to breathe, and just be. The rest well come naturally and with time. So you know what momma's?
stop the yummy mommy competition
stop the self doubt
listen to your gut
know that as long as your child is happy you are doing ENOUGH
I have also been hearing from some mom's in these groups that they want to be more then just a stay-at-home mom. That they feel devalued. The feminist in me enters these conversations with such trepidation! Oi vey! I understand the need/want for more, to be more then just a milk factory. Putting ones life and career on hold while they watch their partners surge forward can be very difficult. And frankly who am I to talk at only 4 months in? But honest, what we are doing is the MOST amazing thing ever! It is more rewarding than any career, we are raising a human being! The next generation of loving, caring, citizens that could CHANGE THE WORLD! How does that not inspire you? Motivate you? Make you feel proud? I know it does for me! I love staying home with Claire, and I feel so very blessed that I am able to and that here in Canada I am paid to do so for an entire YEAR! It is, in my opinion, very feminist to stay home and raise your children right. To teach them love, tolerance, patience, and understanding. To teach them right from wrong, that things like hate, racism and sexism have no place in this world. That baby girls can grow up to be doctors/lawyers/truck drivers and baby boys can become artists/dancers/poets/cooks...ANYTHING THEY WANT TO BE! What can possibly be more feminist or progressive then that?