Monday, September 12, 2011

Motherhood Monday: The Missing Puzzle Piece

All my life I have longed to be good at something. To find that one thing that was uniquely me. I tried it all: drawing, painting, photography, writing, yoga, running, singing, activism, meditation, cooking...you name it I tried it. But I never excelled at anything, I was always just ok, or good. The whole time I was looking for my hidden talents I was also looking for the missing puzzle piece. I'd wake up most mornings and honestly my first thought of the day was "is this all there is?" I felt that there had to be something else, something more, but I had no idea what! My search for this often made me very depressed, because I always came up empty. It was like no matter what I tried or did it was never enough. Something always felt wrong. And now I know what it was...

I was meant to do this.

I was meant to be a mother.

I no longer wake up in the morning wondering if "this is all there is". I gave up searching for the missing puzzle piece. I found it the minute Claire was put on my chest after her birth, as I lay in recovery chanting Claire's name over and over in my head as a mantra until I could finally be with her.

She completes me.

She is my missing puzzle piece.

4 comments:

  1. I totally feel you on this. Even if I fail at everything else, I excel at being a mother. It's what I was meant to do and to a lot of people that isn't good enough as if I should be ashamed but you know what, I think being a mother and parent is one of the most spectacular things we can be in this world. It's not for everyone but for those who it is for it's magical. <3

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  2. It is magical isnt it? Hard freaking work! But pure magic!

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  3. Love this post, it's so sweet! Amazing what these beautiful babies do to us...

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  4. awe that is so beautiful Kami! so happy to hear you feel so full of love and completeness.

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