Kami approached me on that Twitter thingy to do a guest post – to “spice up” things. Whoa! No pressure now! I’ll see what I can do. She gave me the question: How do I maintain my personality and passion while raising two sons? (I’m now twisting my imaginary waxed handlebar moustache as I ponder this question.)
I had to think about it for a couple days – and I’ve finally been able to draw some conclusions with a single common denominator – it’s the little things.
Suddenly having to haul around 2 babies with 2 car seats, a double stroller and all its attachments... in addition to my 2 dogs meant I had to trade in my funky Matrix hatchback for a giant Sienna “loser cruiser”. Sigh. It was sad at first, but after I put my pink hibiscus steering wheel cover, a Rip Curl sticker and plugged in my iPod, it felt more like ‘me’.
On the outside, it may be a friggin’ beast of a vehicle, but once I’m inside, it’s now my traveling oasis. And, it fits EVERYTHING. I don’t know why some women, especially with multiples, try to fight the inevitable, thinking that if they get a minivan, they’ll lose their “edge” – it’s really not worth the stress. I’ve learned that “edge” is a state of mind.
The hours after the boys go to bed and before I go to bed are MY hours – usually 2, sometimes more. Every mother should take these for herself – it’s key to maintaining both sanity and individuality. It’s when I do all the things I want to do, not the things I have to do.
Tomorrow, I’ll do the dishes and the laundry.
The busier I get, the less time I have to invest in my ‘self expression’ and I’ll admit, some personal grooming details suffer, but there are certain aspects I WILL NOT compromise on – particularly accessories. A good necklace can add flare to any plain jeans & t-shirt ensemble. Screw that “my baby will grab it” bull crap – get a snake chain – those buggers are meant to last.
Even though money is always tight, every now and then, I ‘splurge’ on a dumb item of junk jewellery or clothing – never anything more than $30. These things fuel my warped sense of humor and I can run off those stinky fumes for months. The last thing I bought was a t-shirt that said Corn Star when I was in Indianapolis on business. It still makes me giggle.
My mother saw it recently and hung her head in shame, “I thought now that YOU are a mother, you would have grown out of that by now.”
Nope, mother, you are mistaken. I’ll never be too old for a good Corn Star joke. Never.
My little things are keeping me balanced – especially on the days that I fell will NEVER end, due to tantrums, tag-team vomiting, etc, etc. When it does finally end, I re-group and re-charge my Lady Estrogen batteries. A funky steering wheel, good tunes, ridiculous kitsch, and 2 hours a day to myself and I’m good to go.
My husband has no freaking clue how lucky he’s truly got it.
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