Friday, May 13, 2011

Change in Birthing Plans...

So after 4 days of bleeding and yesterday passing a 1 inch clot my OB and Midwife decided to up the anty and have scheduled me for a c-section....ON FREAKING TUESDAY! Yikes! I am confined to bed rest until then and the hubz is flying home on Saturday. It is all happening so fast my head wont stop spinning! Turns out 1/2 litre of blood is pumped to the placenta every minute, so with placenta previa bleeding is taken very seriously! No shit! I knew the risk of a bleed out was there but 1/2 a litre every minute! That's a lot of freaking blood! So I am taking the Doctors orders very seriously and am tucked away into my room with lots of tea, books, my laptop, movies and a journal. The kitty kats are taking good care of their momma giving me lots of love and I am SO grateful I live with family! Id be terrified if I was living on my own right now! Bag for the hospital is all packed, blood work is done, and now we just wait, rest, drink tea, and rest some more.

People keep telling me to just be excited because my bug will be here and in my arms all the sooner. Although yes that is true, it is also before the bug is due so I am concerned for their health and it is not the way I wanted it to happen! I feel like a part of me is in mourning, saying good by to a dream I don't get to fulfill. It is heartbreaking for me that I wont be able to birth naturally, but also amazing to know that the technology exists that can save me and the bugs life. It is a confusing place to be in and I don't think I am quite ready to blog about it much more then that.

For now I know that the excitement part will kick in once Daddy is home with me. Until then I am just going to process my emotions and watch a lot of really trashy mind numbing movies.

Peace, love, and pickles!

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  1. Kami,
    I am keeping you and your little one in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry this isn't going according to your plan. I can only imagine how hard it is for you.

    I hope the trashy movies are able to raise your spirits! The Labyrinth is a favorite of mine when I need a pick me up :)

  2. keeping ya'll in my prayers! wish i lived close by so i could bring over some junk food + chick lit. that's a surefire way to stay in bed for a few days! <3

  3. Thanks for the love ladies! Junk food and a chick flick certainly does help pass the time :)

  4. It is only natural that you should be concerned. It took me many years to heal from the emotional reprocussions of a c-section.

    Focus fully on a healthy arrival.

    I struggled initally with breast feeding, but the milk came through eventually ( if that's what your plan is) You just have to beleive in your body.

    The priority is clearly the health of mama and bug, and you'll have plently of time to bond, and get to know eachother after tuesday.

    jo x

  5. Jo you always manage to find just the right words to say, you know that? Thanks luv